in contemporary society,whether the parents should take part in the childcare training courses is a controversial issue.people might need a vast number of time to reach consensus.from the personal perspective ,i strongly think the childcare training courses are beneficial to parents and the children .there are two aspects as follow which support my opinion

in the first place,the courses can result in the children better-educated childhood,a good childhood paly a important role in their growing.in many researches,it was confirmed that early education is very important for shaping the character of children,therefore,we should pay more attention to the early education of the children

in the second place,the parents who take part in the training causes can make them care their children more efficient and safety.for this they will reduce their presure as well as ensure them invest in more energy in their job,it may be lead to the society more creativity ,promoting the social economy further developemnt

however,everything has its two sides,the training courses may make a distance between the children in education level,which can make society have uncertain factors ,after all,how much education the people accept determine the prosperity and stability of society,this is a issue that we cannot neglect.

in summary,i personally think the training courses must be advocated greatly ,the reason is that,the more parents take part in ,he more prosperity and stability the society is likely to have.

In contemporary society,whether (the去掉）parents should take part in (the去掉）childcare training courses is a controversial issue.people might need a vast amount(number) of time to reach (a)需不定冠词consensus.from the personal perspective ,i strongly think the childcare training courses are beneficial to （both）parents and (the去掉） children .there are two aspects as follow which support my opinion

in the first place,the courses can result in (the去掉） （children去掉） better-educated childhood,（；需分号）a good childhood paly（s） a important role in their growing.in many researches,it （was）（需用is，研究结果是客观事实） confirmed that early education is very important for shaping the character of children,therefore,we should pay more attention to the early education of (the去掉）children

in the second place,(the去掉）parents who take part in(the去掉）training causes can make them（selves） care their children more efficient and safe（ty去掉，该用adj）.for this (reason) they （will）（用can) reduce their presure (as well as)(这儿该用and) ensure them (invest in去掉) more energy (in)（用for) their jobs,it may (be去掉) （lead to the society more creativity）bring more creativity to the society ,(promoting)用动词原形further promote the social economy (further developemnt去掉，意思与promote重复）

however,everything has (its去掉） two sides,（；用这个）training courses may make a distance between the children in education level,which can make（s) society have uncertain factors ,(after all,)for how much education the people accept determine(s) the prosperity and stability of society,this is a issue that we cannot neglect.

in summary,i personally think the training courses must be advocated greatly ,the reason is that,the more parents take part in ,(t）he more prosperity and stability the society is likely to have.


说句心理话，如果我是评卷老师，你的作文最多能得到作文总分的一半，原因：
1.虽然你有一定的英语水平，但是英语写作习惯极差：大小写全乱来，标点符号的使用也不规范，一些简单的错误重复出现。总之，你的英语学习态度有待于进一步提高。
2.作文没有标题，这好比一个人没有脑袋一样。这样的作文，严格的说来，不能算真正意义上的一篇作文
3.思路不够清晰，虽然有一定的框架结构，但还没有掌握雅思作文的写作精髓。

恕我直言，说真的，要说的话，其实还有一些毛病，自己好好的反思检查改正吧。我是学英语出生的，每每看到学习英语者重复犯一些简单低级的错误时，总有说不出的滋味，望体谅。

还有一点，考雅思的一般都要出国。你的水平怎样不仅仅是你个人的问题，还涉及到我们祖国的面子问题，中国整个民族的素质问题等等。希望你在国外能做一个我们民族骄傲的中国人！